UP THE CREEK
All Fools Day, 2007
The X Commandments (of the water company)
I. Thou shalt have no other water company before us. We enjoy our monopoly.
II. Thou shalt make no idol or graven image of water, nor purchase the same likeness in a plastic bottle at $1.59 per liter.
III. Thou shalt not utter “USCDWUA” in vain, nor hurl imprecations at thy water faucet should it refuse thee.
IV. Remember the seventh day, which is a day of rest and therefore neither for broken pipes nor discussion of thy water bill.
V. Honor thy water system operators, that thy days may be long upon this land, and wet.
VI. Thou shalt not kill thy water system by the digging up of pipes, but rather dial “811” to announce thy destructive intent, that we may gird our loins.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adulteration of thy drinking water by cross connection with thy water well or irrigation pipe, as such shall be an abomination in the eyes of the State.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal thy water nor bypass thy meter nor commit other devious acts for such shall be an abomination and a felony.
IX. Thou shalt not falsely accuse thy meter reader nor thy office lady, for verily they are but human and flawed. Thou mayst accuse thy water meter, as it is but a lump of bronze and dumb. Likewise, thou mayst accuse thy manager as he is indeed much the same.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s water bill, for his prudence is not thine own.
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You may feel nothing written by this office around April 1 is to be trusted, so the following true announcement is for April 2:
The Redlands Mesa Grange is hosting a water workshop Saturday April 14 from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. There is a fee of $5.00 which also covers lunch. Presentations will be made on both domestic and irrigation water, and any water related topic may be discussed. All are invited.Attending the workshop will be representatives from CSU Extension Service, the Delta Conservation District and the Natural Resource Conservation Service. RSVP to Grange Master Jim Cazer at 872-2410. If you have an issue you think should be addressed, please tell Mr. Cazer, or me at 856-7199.