Address Changes

     Ain't it always like this: finally, against your will, bending to the point of breaking, sacrificing your most cherished elements of character, you begin to accept and get used to a new things in your life. Then they go and change it.

     I understand; I feel the pain. It was, after all, just a few years ago (well, twenty) that my family had to abandon our old familiar "Route 2, Box 168" mail address. It was a hard thing. "1312 2600 Road" did not have the same flavor. And besides, it was blatantly incorrect, since our house is south of where the 1300's are supposed to begin. But, we shed our tears, readjusted our moral compass, repainted the mailbox, and got used to it rather quickly - sometime last year, I think.

     And sure enough, here comes the change. Just as "1312 2600 Rd" acquires a comfortable, if not musical, cadence, we are presented with something like "12992" and maybe it's still 2600 road. I haven't looked at the new address packet yet. A person needs to acclimatize gradually.

     One feature of the new system is replacing letter names - "P" road keeps coming up as an example, maybe people don't like to live on "P" Road - with word names, arranged alphabetically. So "P" might be "Pander," "P50" could become "Pleurisy," "P75" would be "Presumed," and so on. But those names won't be used, oh, no. The county has steadfastly rejected all my submissions. I wanted "Uscdwua" for "U" road, but they threw it out on grounds that it is not a word. Imagine.

     Of course, those of you not residing in Delta County can only wonder what the heck this is all about. Come to think of it, those of you who do reside in Delta County may wonder the same thing. This is not the place to get the answer. The kernel of this little essay is that we have a lot of addresses, even in this piddling water company, and, as of now, they are all officially wrong. True, they'll still work for another year or so, but let's get them fixed before then, please. Then we can use the rest of the time to grieve, repaint our mailboxes, etc.

     When you learn your new address, kindly make the correction on the top part of your bill, and return it (with payment please). Also, look at the supposed address of your meter, which may not be the same as your mailing address, even though we may list it that way. We suspect the meter we have on record as installed in Hawthorne, California is, in fact, a minor error in our database, since we have never found the blamed thing.

     While looking over your bill for miscellaneous data, check to see that your phone number is correct. And don't get too attached to it. It'll change. Remember when the front range megalopolis coldly assumed sole ownership of the lovely, symmetrical, poetic "303" area code? And left us with the grating and somewhat sinister "970"? First they take our water, then our area code, then our water (again). About the time I start thinking "970" isn't so bad, they'll take that and all our prefixes too, you watch.